Calvin I.

This Is Reality

Penguins can fly.  They just don't want to tell you.  Back off.  It's a secret.
 
There is no gravity.  Gravity is only the taste you have in your mouth after you wake from sleep.  You don't believe me, though.  You don't remember.
 
You have no friends.  They're pretending.
 
Santa Claus is real.  Sometimes, during the summer, he goes to your fireplace for his vacation with Mrs. Claus.  Watch out.
 
The Tooth Fairy was alive until you killed her in the basement.  You don't remember?  Think hard.
 
Your parents lied to you.




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