Lauren S.

Just to Say I Trusted You

A day has gone by,
A week,
A month,
Now maybe even a year.
 
You thought I’d never find out
All the hurtful things you said,
Or all the rumors you made up,
Or that you were the one who spilt my secrets,
But no - I did.
 
You defied my trust,
Your blade out of its sheath
Damaged my self esteem.
The knife glides smoothly into my body.
Never realized how much it hurt,
Next I fall, crash -
 
I don’t care about the secrets,
I don’t care about the lies,
What bothers me the most is that
When confronted you denied
 
Take the responsibility,
Handle the repercussions,
What you did was wrong,
Own up to it,
Please don’t lie.
 
A day has gone by,
A week,
A month,
Now maybe even a year.
 
Yet I can’t let go
Of all the anger you caused,
just waiting to explode.
 
Maybe the reason that I hold on so
Is I have never experienced a hurt like this before,
One without sticks or stones.
 
As each word you said got back to me,
They became breaths of air,
shoved at the forgiving boundaries of a balloon
that can only handle so much stress.
And soon I popped,
But when I did, no noise came out,
Just many silent tears.
 
A day has gone by,
A week,
A month,
Now maybe even a year.
 
Issues now seem to be erased,
In your mind and in mine.
 
We play it nice,
Like nothing ever happened.
 
The world doesn’t seem to notice
The tension between us now.
So we ignore it,
And continue to pretend.
 
But inside of my head,
As if they were inscribed in stone,
Are the words,
 
Don’t ever trust
Another living soul.

 
Everyday I hide from you,
The person next to me,
The world -
I’m scared I will trust them,
the way I trusted you.





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